Self Care

We are taught at a very young age, from our parents and caregivers of all kinds, that we give give give, our time, focus, energy, love, attention, direction you name it, to someone else as small children, and we grow knowing that these people are there in our lives to do so! But how often as a child did you hear these same caregivers say, you play here for 20mins, I’m going to journal, do yoga, meditate, cook a healthy meal, be in nature (when the other caregiver is there of course), read a book, or ‘insert any form of self care here’? I guess I heard my mother say, I’m going to get in the tub, as a child but it surely wasn’t for self care purposes, more so than to straight up bathe herself! Not to relax destress, or take time for her!

While saying this, I’m not recommending you hop in there for 3 hours and ignore your loved ones! But I am saying that we break this cycle of going going going, laundry, cooking, cleaning, picking up, working, the list goes on, without taking time for us somewhere in between all this stuff we do on a day to day basis! It’s about talking to your kids or spouse, friends and family about taking time for ourselves, to get through the thick of the shit that’s piling up in our heads mentally physically and spiritually, so we can be better parents, lovers , friends and family!

Speak this truth about what it means to love yourself, and take time to nourish our body, minds, and souls, with everyone in our lives! It’s about creating healthy boundaries (not walls, but boundaries) where our needs, need to start coming first, because we’re already doing so much! Some might confuse this with neglect and it’s so far from that, because when you take time to practice self care, you’ll find you’re able to give back to those people that receive your energy, on a much different and healthier level! Slow down, breathe, take time away from social media and spend time with our own thoughts, instead of thoughts that others are creating in our minds!

Sometimes I make a coffee or tea and just sit in my rocking chair looking out the window at the birds, the snowfall, the kids playing, or my dog rolling around on the grass in all his glory, taking all the self care he needs to just scratch his back! It’s a time to internally express some gratitude to what I have right before my eyes, time to think about the day ahead of me, or the day behind me. It allows me time to have creative thoughts about My Humble Abode, and that covers some ground for me, as it’s not just my blog, but it’s where I practice Massage Therapy and Energy Healing from my home studio, where I create essential oil blends, and soaps, blogging ideas, and IG content (for something exciting I have been creating that will hopefully come to life this year)! And in turn while taking this time for 1 (or 2) coffee, I’m taking some time to practice some pretty basic self care for my body mind and soul! I used to take that coffee time as time for my socials (which I’m setting aside separate time for now, because my coffee was getting cold and my mind was well… mindless!

Why Self Care Is Important

• It lets us sit and decompress to actually process, what we’ve gone through, going through or what’s to come! And in turn physically, mentally and spiritually allows us to deeply feel in all the ways we are experiencing!
• You’ve heard it before, and I’ll say it again, we cannot pour from an empty cup, we give so much of our time to everyone in our lives, we need to at least equally give back to ourselves
• Self Care is acknowledging shadow work in ourselves, we all have it, some of us don’t know what that is just yet, but this practice will show you, as it teaches us our triggers, why were being triggered, and find ways to cope with them or let them go through the process of owning that and being ready for it and ahead of it!
• It’s about taking time to spend with yourself, hanging out doing nothing, feeling the growth, you’ve put in and making plans to move forward in that growth!
• Get to know yourself a little more, we’re in this vessel for our life time! Be comfortable spending time with yourself, with no distractions, no triggers, getting to know yourself on a different level than you maybe ever imagined! It might sound dumb but you can be your own best friend, in a way that no one else can be for you!
• When you love yourself first, you can love others more easily! Having compassion for others comes from having compassion and gratitude for yourself! It’s a continuous cycle of giving and receiving love to yourself and giving love to others, while loving yourself and being loving!
• Self Care helps you manage stress, it’s an internal point to help deal and cope with external stresses in our lives, and globally we’re feeling this now more than ever in our lifetime!
• It all depends on how you measure success, what things are the most important to you! Are you on that list, because I don’t think the right kind of success exists without putting yourself on that list, and you should be sitting confidently at the top! Many carry this guilt for putting yourself first but what many may not realize is that loving yourself first makes it so much easier to want to love, help and be there for others. You are truly only in control of you, so letting yourself burnout, get depressed, frustrated the list goes on, certainly won’t help others in your life, when you don’t take time to love and care for yourself first! So imagine what you can do, when you take the time to put yourself first!

So here’s a list of a few ways you can practice self care, some that I do and some I don’t, but it’s about finding things that work for you and your life style! Start with just one, and you may learn to want more as you get more comfortable putting yourself first and feeling the benefits, it’s ok if you don’t too, because one ripple can start a wave!

• Go for a walk in nature, breathe in the air, feel it on your face, find a spot, and sit down for 15 mins, forget about what needs to be done, you owe this to yourself!
• Take a bath, light some candles, add your fav essential oils to some Epsom salts, dump them in maybe play some relaxation music, some binaural beats or just silence! Spend some time here, acknowledge your body and how it feels! When you’re finished, take some time to nourish your body with a natural chemical free oil or lotion, don’t rush it, give yourself a nice massage and when you’re finished have a nice tall glass of water!
• Movement! Find a way that works for you, I love to put on my fav music and just dance, moving my body and just feeling every rhythm, swaying my arms, sometimes I can get pretty theatrical! You know the saying, dance like no one is watching! Well I hate these cheesy sayings but that’s exactly what you need to embody! I don’t have time to care about how I look, cause it’s all about how I feel, I also like to teach my daughter this, feel the music in your soul! Sometimes when there’s house hold tension, I’m like damn we need some music, sometimes it takes me far too long to clue into this, and it’s changes the energy so quickly! Another way I like to move my body, is through yoga, this doesn’t need to be this daunting 45 minute practice to squeeze in, there are so many yoga practices on YouTube that offer beginner to expert routines in 20 minute time frames to pick from, seated, full body, in bed, specific areas of your body that require more attention! My favourite is Yoga with Kassandra on YouTube https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCX32D3gKXENrhOXdZjWWtMA she has so much to offer for free or through her paid app!
• Take yourself out on a date, order your fav things and take all the time you want, sit, indulge, take time to taste your food!
• Journal, there are many ways to journal, I’d suggest taking a hop on over to Pinterest and find a way that soothes your soul, or you can follow my series on Sagedapp with a quick download, where I have a weekly series of prompted journaling where I take you from the darkness to the light in self discovery, and show you how to practice gratitude through journaling!
• Read a book, take as much time as you want!
• Watch a fav show or movie you’ve been eyeing up, by yourself, no distractions with questions, and wants and needs!
• Meditation! I cannot express this enough, again lots of ways to do this, though silent practice, light relaxation music, binaural beets, guided or visual meditation! Find what works for you! Quiet the mind, and when thoughts come through, that’s ok, acknowledge those thoughts, and always come back to your breathing, it can be that easy to start mediating! Start with 5 minutes!
• Breathing techniques, check these out on YouTube, I will usually incorporate this in with my yoga practice!
• Tapping, EFT there is much to receive online for this, and it’s benefits!
• Get a Massage, as an RMT, I have learned that many first time clients, don’t get touch, not even from lovers!
• Colour, if you’re artsy or not, this is such a therapeutic tool, and honestly is so meditative! My daughter and I will often colour together after supper, the dishes can always wait,
• Eat the damn cake, or whatever it is you tell yourself you can’t have, just maybe not everyday!
• Take a nap, no explanation needed here for this one!
• Listening to an inspirational Podcast that suits your interests. I love to just throw an earbud in and get some housework done, or while I’m walking, or cooking, and always while I’m heading into work! One I would recommend among many, is The Highest Self Podcast, with Sahara Rose! Give her a follow on the Gram for for more inspirational goodness! https://iamsahararose.com/podcast/
• Stretching!!! I cannot express how important this is, we as North Americans do not have this in our culture and society in our everyday lives like other cultures in the world, and it shows! As a Massage Therapist I can tell you this severely contributes to injury, and day to day pain! Once you get some blood flowing in your muscles in the morning (not getting right out of bed and immediately stretching a cold muscle) after a shower or bath, after the kids are gone or at the end of your day, take 15 minutes! But here’s the important part, hold that stretch for at least 30 seconds and if you can hold it for 1 minute! Or I like to ditch counting and breathe through a stretch for 5 nice long deep breaths! You need to hold it long enough for the muscle to send the message to the brain to relax and back to the muscle to actually do so! Many people just don’t know this, and that’s ok, because if you aren’t told how are you supposed to know, so I’m here to tell you! If you practice this daily your body will thank you and you might even thank me 😉
• Diffuse some of your favourite essential oils in a ventilated or open space, but please for your health’s sake, make sure they are 100% therapeutic grade EO’s.
• Sing Sing Sing- doesn’t matter how you sound, rock out!
• Get 8 hours of sleep at night! (I’m so guilty over here of not doing this one) but we know it’s proven science that our bodies need it to function accordingly!
• Drink your recommended amount of water, which is roughly your body weight in half in ounces! This will vary based on what you find online, but this is what I go by cause it’s easy!
• Garden, spending time with nature is really important, it helps us connect back to Mother Earth and being in that alignment is something we should all strive for! As daunting as is sounds, weeding can be quite meditative once you’re into it!
• Go for a hike! Get some proper footwear on, head out into the woods, and just simply look, listen and move your body!
• Tell yourself something affirming everyday!
• Create a routine with your day, week or even month, if you can plan that far ahead! This helps you stay focused and on track!
• Now I’m the last person that is concerned about vanity and appearance, but if looking good helps you feel good, then do it!
• Declutter! This is proven to remove stresses and anxiousness from our lives and removing those things is a check for Self Care!
• Cook a healthy meal for you or your family, and try a new dish each week!
• Laughter, it is the best medicine! We all know many ways to bring laughter into our lives, find something to laugh about daily !
• Say no! If you’re not vibing with something, don’t hang on to that, ditch it and don’t hold onto guilt about it, remember it’s about creating boundaries!
• Cuddle! Cuddling is proven science that releases oxytocin, a hormone that helps us cope with stress and relaxes our bodies and minds, almost instantly!
• Don’t do more than you can, again back to boundaries!
• Be with loving and positive people!
• Create a future that you desire, work your way at it one step at a time! Like myself for example, I wanted to start writing, but not really ready to write a book! So I created a blog, it’s one step in the direction I’m going for, put those dreams out there to the universe, talk about it with friends and loved ones and trust that they will come back to you! That’s literally the way it works, the law of attraction, if you don’t know about it, I’ll be writing about it very soon!
• One thing that I can’t express enough of is doing shadow work, I know I’ve said this already, but it brings those negative thought patterns out on the table, talk about what is limiting your beliefs about yourself, your surroundings and what you deserve! Go deep in there and pull it all out! It’s worth it for you, and I know that because it was worth it for me!

These are just a couple handfuls of ideas that might spark self care in yourself, find what works, whatever calls out to you, give it a try!

I hope this gives you guidance in finding ways to love yourself today and everyday. You are so important to this life and you have a purpose, it may be big it may be small, it doesn’t always mean that our purpose will be our career path either! Discover it in yourself, you are wanted, you are loved, but first you need to love yourself! Put your arms around yourself and repeat after me… I love myself, I’m important, and nourishing my mind, body and soul is guiding me in being my happiest and most loving self I can be!

Thanks for coming over today, it was wonderful to see you!

~Abby